The Best of Law for Kids
Law for Kids (as the name indicates) is a website about the law, for kids! It’s a horrible website where really the only entertainment value is the “it’s so bad it’s good” comic strips and cartoons. Today I’m going to do something different, and that’s show the 5 “best” comic strips from Law for Kids.
There’s one thing that I don’t understand about this comic, and that’s “What exactly is going on?” It’s probably something all of you are wondering. Because I seriously have no idea what is going on. I guess this kid got his car and stuff. But what’s really odd is just how unintentionally hilarious this strip is, like how the MVD can’t afford a proper sign so they have to stick a wood sign into the ground. There’s also one thing that’s great about this strip, it’s how lazy the artists on LawforKids are, like look at the first panel and then the 4th (or the one directly under the first, I guess), they’re the exact same just the artist decided to change the colour of his shirt.
This is a weird strip, who walks their dog past curfew? And who just wears a t-shirt while doing so? I guess it gets really hot in Arizona at night. What is this strip supposed to teach to kids? That if you smoke cigarettes at 1 in the morning then some weird black guy will come up to you and ask if you want to be arrested and then lead you off into the night. Oh yeah did I also mention that in the second frame he’s apparently levitating in the air infront of the backdrop, this also shows how lazy the people who draw the strips for Law for Kids are, if you notice the black guy in the second and third frame are the same thing, the artist just coloured him completely black and resized him. Also here’s one last thing, I think Marco is a Vietnam veteran or something. Just look at his eyes.
I really do like the sublimial racism in this strip. Apparently Mexicans do drugs, therefor they go to jail! But white people don’t, so they’re sucessful and work for some generic company and do generic things like point at a generic graph with your generic pointer.
This strip is a lot like the first strip I talked about, for some reason the people at Law for Kids say to themselves “Let’s draw a bunch of stuff, and not put any dialouge in it so nobody has any idea what’s going on. Because seriously, I don’t think anybody has any idea what’s going on besides the person who draw it. What’s going on? Okay so in the first strip he says something out loud about bullies, and then in the second strip everybody now knows he has a gun in his backpack, and then apparently in the third strip some random bully shows up and starts trying to choke him. But really, I want to know what exactly is going on in the background? In the first strip it’s indicated that this random guy is on the outside, but why are there lockers on the left? Arizona must have some really shitty schools if they put lockers on the outside. But anyway, on the 4th frame apparently the bully has stopped trying to choke him and has given him enough time to put down his backpack and pull out a gun and aim it at him. But what exactly happens afterwards? Does the black guy shoot the white guy or what? I guess so because in the next frame he’s in prison. Whatever.
This is the best strip from Law for Kids. I am serious when I say this, I mean just look at the strip. There’s so much wrong with it. Like for some reason that black kid can march right out of the bus without the driver chasing after her, and how she can walk throughout the mall without anybody noticing her, and then when she runs into a cop, the police officer doesn’t arrest her or anything. He just tells her something she probably already knows, and then she just says “sorry.”
Fanfiction.net
Fanfiction.net, it’s the pandora’s box of horrible stories written by 16 year old girls who are way too obsessed with their favorite TV show (which is either: iCarly, Zoey 101, or any other of those horrible shows on Nick), sometimes they’re obsessed with two TV shows and they just feel the need to write some god awful crossover (this case iCarly and Zoey 101), where the plot is one of the characters getting pregnant. I’m not joking, somebody has actually done something like this, and it’s just awful. It’s like a creative writing assignment gone horribly wrong. In fact I’m pretty sure the person writing this story actually takes creative writing and failed her assignment because even the teacher couldn’t take this horrible connection of words some people call a work of “fiction,” it’s just so awful. Seriously when you fail an assignment in a Creative Writing Class, you’re not just failing the assignment but you’re failing at life. If you fail an assignment in Creative Writing you’re either not that creative or you’re so creative that the teacher is just absolutely disgusted by it and just has to fail you. Here’s a guideline for all of you people to follow, never ever read FanFiction at work or at school or any place in public. You will be fired/expelled/called a freak by most of the people around you.
Man, I really want to know the people who write these stories. I’m sure there are some people who defy the fat goth girl who sits by herself in her Creative Writing class, she’s also writing the exciting contiuation for her Twilight and Zoey 101 cross over fanfiction where the main character kills the entire cast of Zoey 101 in a horrifying detailed way. But for the most part, 85% of FanFiction’s user base fits this stereotype, and just try and prove me wrong.
There’s a lot more content on FanFiction.net besides the average “I love this TV show/book/movie/commerical/video game/manga so I’ll write some Mary-Sue characters into them that screw everything up and make you hate the show even more than you do,” sometimes people feel the need to write erotica disguised as FanFiction. I believe that without a doubt, that there is some form of erotic fanfiction about Spongebob Squarepants. To be honest, I’m going to coin a new term just about FanFiction.net, instead of saying “I think there is an erotic fan fiction about it,” you say “There IS an erotic fan fiction about it. Because let’s be honest, there’s a 99.9% chance that there is an erotic fan fiction about it because the internet is full of absolutely horrible people who have a big imagination and a lot of free time to kill.
Because FanFiction.net is such a horrible website, I’m dedicating paragraph 4 to hilarious quotes from horrible FanFiction stories. Let’s get this train-wreck started.
My Immortal
WARNING: SUM OF DIS CHAPTA IS XTREMLY SCRAY. VIOWER EXCRETION ADVISD.
My Immortal is the ultimate Mary-Sue self-inseration FanFiction story. It’s essentially Harry Potter with emo vampires who cut themselves because they’re like so deep and stuff.
Half-Life: Full-Life Consequences
“I cant give you my lisense officer” John Freeman said
“Why not?” said the headcrab oficer back to John Freeman.
“Because you are headcrab zombie” so John Freeman shot the oficer in the head and drove off thinking “my brother is in trouble there” and went faster.
Half-Life: Full-Life Consequences is probably one of the best fanfictions in the world, simply because it’s so bad. It’s one of those “it’s so funny it’s bad” type of FanFictions that I just love.
San Andreas Stories
John sat around on his bunk just thinking of what was out there in San decided to talk to John walked in to Vics bunk he was nearly hit by a lamp.”Stinking Son of Bitches!!!” Vic said as he prepared to throw something then saw John.”John can you believe this!!Their gonna discharge me!!Do you know what this means!!!????” Vic said as John replied “Why??Whos they????”.Vic yelled back at him “The frecking Commander of the military in San Andreas!!Look how about you take care of this for me??Huh!!listen i pay you and here take this” as Vic handed John a AK-47.”sht man is this antigue???” john said as he took the replied “Its the best i can do without taking one of the guns from the base which would get everybody fired .That thing is in good condition.I took with me from my time in Nam.”
San Andreas Stories is most likely a fanfic that was written in a parallel universe where the author of Half-Life: Full-Life Consequences wrote a fanfic about Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas instead of Half-Life.
In conclusion, FanFiction is a horrible website. But it’s the good type of horrible where if you look hard enough, you’ll find a hilariously bad story which you can make fun of with your friends.
Your Website Sucks
Some guy I don’t know at all sent me a link to this website called “Your Website Sucks,” and to be honest. I’m shocked at how bad this website is. For some reason this guy makes fun of these supposedly “bad” websites. I’ve looked at all of these websites for around 2 minutes and I don’t see anything bad about them, to me they all seem like great websites full of great people who have these great opinions and discussions.
God, who is the guy who writes this crap? Who are you, Navis Lombe? I bet you have like no life and are just jealous of your older brother who is way cooler than you. You should really just stop trying at life and just kill yourself right now and stop yourself another 9 years of torment until you can drink yourself into a coma you sad excuse for a satirist. You make me so sick.
So this guy has written 2 other articles, one about that website which I find to be one of the best websites in the universe, Facepunch Studios. Why is he making fun of Facepunch Studios? Why would you do such a thing? I mean Facepunch is a really well made website, it’s just the bad community that ruins everything. Although Facepunch is a forum, so if it’s full of idiots then the website automatically sucks. Doesn’t matter really since this guy’s website sucks, I don’t even think he even has a website, I mean really. Where is his website? This guy isn’t a critic, he’s just some random troll trying to piss some people off by making fun of bad websites (that I’m sure he actually likes) on his stupid blog.
His blog is full of nonconstructive biased whinery, and on top of that he has to swear. Why are you swearing, Mr. Lambe? There’s no point to it at all, and it just makes you look like a 12 year old Maddox clone about bad websites. This guy really needs to get a life since it looks like he just spends his Wednesday mornings furiously hitting a keyboard with his dick and then hitting “Publish,” here’s a tip “Navis Lombe.” If you don’t like the website, then don’t read it.
In conclusion, Navis Lombe I hope you die in a fiery car crash. You unlegitimate trolling wrong hypocritical bad writer maddox clone coward 12 year old attention whore whining biased jealous unconstructive swearing parody person. Good fucking day.
Yahoo! Answers
Remember back in high school when there was this one person who would ask these really stupid questions that could easily be answered, and after they were done asking the question, the teacher looked looked like he/she was going to slap the person? Well, that’s Yahoo! Answers in a nutshell. For some reason people on Yahoo! Answers ask these questions that shouldn’t be put in the hands of random jackasses on the internet. It just doesn’t make any sense why you would ask people on the internet about things like how to raise your child or love advice or anything personal like that. It’s just fucking stupid and you’re a horrible person for asking these types of questions.
I don’t know what exactly is the point of Yahoo! Answers, when you can easily just type your question into Goo—, I mean Yahoo and just browse a couple of websites and eventually have you question answered by just clicking random websites for a couple of minutes instead of having to wait like 20 minutes or longer for some random jackass to answer your question. Although I’m sure the people who answer peoples questions on Yahoo! Answers have absolutely no life, so it’ll only take them 5 minutes to open up Google and type in the question and hit “I’m Feeling Lucky” and paste whatever they get and then reply back.
Not only is Yahoo! Answers trying to replace the impossible task of using a search engine, they’re trying to make cheating easier. I’m sure that a half of the questions on Yahoo! Answers are simply people asking for “help” with their homework. What I hate is that usually people actually help them out, why would you do that? Just tell them to do their homework and fuck off. It’s not that hard. I’m guessing these people just have to help people because it makes them feel like valuable human beings or something.
There’s one thing I really want to know, who are the people answering answering all of these questions? Who exactly is wasting hours of their life answering all of these stupid questions? Are these people superhuman geniuses who know absolutely everything about everything? Or are they just better at Googling than the rest of the people who use Yahoo! Answers? I’m guessing they’re that stereotypical nerd that you see in these movies or animated shows with the pocket protector and they also have tape on their glasses.
To conclude this post, Yahoo! Answers is inane but fucking hilarious. There’s a 50/50 chance that if you browse Yahoo! Answers long enough, you’ll find something absolutely hilarious.
Facepunch Studios
Facepunch Studios, Facepunch Studios. Christ almighty. That website is horrible, I’m not even joking, it’s just absolutely fucking terrible. Nothing can match the amount of awful Facepunch Studios is, I think it’s even worse than Gaia Online or Yahoo! Answers. Facepunch is a special type of horrible, it’s just absolutely full of idiots. Idiots like emos, goths, furries, roleplayers, homosexuals, overreactive babies, camwhores, nerds, 4chan rejects, preps, and the Swedish. It’s almost like every forum on Facepunch contains it own clique. Nerds inhabit the Video Games and Hardware and Software forum, the 4chan rejects post in Photoshop Contests, camwhores have their own little place in Fast Threads where they can get all the attention they need just because they have tits and a va-jay-jay, and then the overreactive babies have their own forum called “In The News” where they can talk about all of the injustice going on in the world and talk about how there’s going to be some sort of revolution or some other bullshit. The emos, goths, furries, roleplayers, homosexuals, and Swedish have their own forums to try and stop their faggotry from seeping into other forums.
On Facepunch there’s a section all about the game that the forum creator made, called Garry’s Mod. There’s one subforum that is absolutely horrible, and that’s the “Screenshots and Movies” forum, for some reason Garry didn’t realize that the initals for Screenshots and Movies are S&M. I’m guessing the reason why it’s named that is because moderating that forum is about as fun as S&M. Screenshots and Movies is full of giant butthurt crybabies who just can’t take somebody saying mean things about their masterpiece. To be honest it’s an easy place to troll, since the people who post there have the ability to somehow troll themselves. But what’s even worse than people who take the internet very seriously, are the people who use Garry’s Mod to pose characters in sexual positions. You people are seriously fucked up in the head if you do this as a hobby. It’s even more disgusting to just know that the people who are making these poses have most likely masturbated to these pictures more than once. Fucking heathens.
The generic “off-topic” forum on Facepunch, or as it’s called “General Discussion” has its own subforum called “In The News,” which allows people to talk about current affairs in a civil matter via debate and discussion. By “debate and discussion” I mean acting like total fucking 12 year olds. Here’s a fact about the “In The News” forum, any thread about; religion, drugs, rape, murders, food, computers, Youtube, international affairs, you know what. Every fucking thread in “In The News” will turn into a “Who can fling the most shit at each other” contest, it’s true. Every goddamn thread is a bunch of people arguing about one thing, then going back a couple steps, then going a couple more, and then going back to the first step. It’s fucking ridiclious how much a cesspool “In The News” is.
Facepunch has something called “Custom Forums”, which allows certain groups of people their own niche forum, and that is where I believe that all of the horrors of Facepunch lie. There are two custom forums that I feel all of the users who post in them are the main reason why Facepunch is so shitty. Those two forums are the Furry forum, and “Roleplay Wonderland.” Now the “Roleplay Wonderland” forum is just a sad forum. It’s full of people who waste their entire life pretending to be something they’re not. Why don’t you people get a more constructive hobby like video games or drinking? Now, the Furry forum is even worse. I respect rapists more than furries, because at least when they’re raping somebody they don’t think they’re a fox or a cat or whatever the fuck they think they are. You are all horrible people and I hope you all die.
In conclusion Facepunch Studios is an absolutely horrible website that I can’t being to fathom how long it would take to describe every horrible thing about Facepunch Studios. 5 paragraphs has barely scratched the surface of the faggotry that Facepunch Studios contains. While at the same time I’m pissed off that Facepunch Studios exists, I’m thankful for it existing. Because if it didn’t exist then all of the users of Facepunch would be posting on other forums. I don’t even want to know what that would be like, but I’m sure it’d be the internet equivalent of armageddon.